For the Friday

Happy and Wilkin with cute shoes, Phedisang Drop-IN Center, Worcester, Limpopo
I hope you have a nice weekend.

Workin on the chain gang

"There is a tree and it stands tall and proud. Here is the base, here are the roots, and here are all the leaves on all the branches. You are like a tree, Megan. You don't get the support and food for your roots, you start to shake, you lose your leaves, and people in this place lose out on working with, using, and being around something beautiful." -Mogale, T R. (Rejoice)

So, I haven't really been talking about my office... or, for that matter, my work, the last few weeks. I guess when I'm frustrated, and so far into my service, I'm not really compelled to dwell on the challenges I still, STILL, face when it comes to my office. It's just complicated.. and then not so much.. all around. And yet it's fine. Not in that, "Whatever, it's fine, I've let so many things roll off my back and slogged through so many difficult and frustrating experiences, this is just another mere blip, I'm in the Peace Corps" fine... but it actually is OK. After months and months and months of struggling with how I could be different and what I could change to help my office... after talks with myself and then talks with other people in the community, it has finally dawned on me that the role I have played in my office is not going to change. I've tried different approaches with my coworkers . I have tried to be supportive. I have tried to be an equal. I have fought. I have cried. I have been flexible. And we're still here... I spend a lot of my time with them sitting in the office doing very little... maybe some filing, maybe being sent to buy airtime or takeaway. I watch the office while they go out to workshops and meetings. I answer frantic phone calls that request my help on this, that, or the other. I've written funding proposals that they express little to no interest in working together on... and I really have no idea what they're doing most of the time, cause there is little communication. When I came back from holiday break I was informed that the Program Manager had resigned and we were officially recognizing that our Home Based Care (HBC) Coordinator had resigned as well. Nice. Now the ol home based care is running with two full time staff and a PCV. Changes have occurred.. management has shifted... and I still don't think I'll ever be more than a gopher. This is all hard for me to admit. Admitting this brings up all kinds of thoughts. What have I been doing this whole time? Maybe if I would have done this or that.. things would be different? Why, still, can I not completely cut myself off? Am I just naive and have too much hope for an organization that is just going to go under? And, yet, as I said, it's fine. It's fine cause things have changed... I have changed. I remember back in training when PCV's from groups ahead of ours mentioned that your final stretch of your service was going to be very full, that's when everything started coming together. For me, this is so true. There have been plenty of times I have questioned why the hell I was still in South Africa... why I was still with Peace Corps... but never seriously thought about leaving because there was some pull that kept me here. I'm not sure what pulled me through all of last year.. one of the hardest, if not THE hardest, of my life..but, I'm glad I stayed. The beginning weeks of this year, after nice holidays, proved to be rough. Coming back to the village is always hard, but coming back to face frustrations you resent, really didn't have to think about and were glossed over on vacation? Harder. This is a very personal journey, filled with experiences, layers, and so many little things that cannot be described. Everyone is going to have a different experience because every place is different, every PCV is different. I don't feel like I have wasted my time and I know I've done a lot of stuff here...reminding myself of those key things, after so long, have helped me hit a new point. (And as Maite, my host cousin, so eloquently put it... when the time for leaving draws nearer, everything becomes sweeter). With the hitting of some lows, multiple conversations with other PCV's and in the village, airtime, a few books, and people helping me with ideas OUTSIDE the office... I have bounced back. I'm tapping into all the resources I've connected with over the last year and a half and I've got projects going on. Teen Pregnancy Workshops to plan for drop in centers,toilets to build, a ride out to local farms in the mobile clinic, creating a brochure for a local NGO to get their name out, searching for funding to help build up an existing school library, writing grant proposals, crossing my fingers for the community garden I'm helping my office to organize for income generating and food production, going to town to beg for donations, visiting other NGO's and organizations in the area to help connect them to each other...
I'm going to the people who want to work WITH me and more than ever I feel lucky to have the chance to share my skills with them and have them share their skills and knowledge with me.

Oh in this little tent, much is going on!

Today I went to a community event complete with guest speakers, dancing, singing, praying, catering, AND, most importantly, focused on STI's (Sexually Transmitted Infections) and VCT (Voluntary Counseling and Testing for HIV). After the MC announced that we should all practice what we preached... I went through the testing process myself. With the help of Knysna and Khutso from Humana, the organization that was facilitating all the testing drives in the area, I now know my status.
Khutso invited me in a tent for confidentiality purposes and we talked about the testing procedures. I was asked if I knew how HIV was transmitted, what the symptoms of having HIV are, and what brought me to test. I signed a release form stating that I understood the testing procedures.
Knysna pricked the tip of my ring finger on my left hand, squeezed a few drops onto the testing strip, and then added the solution to start the test. It works like a pregnancy test. If one line appears, I'm negative; if two or three lines show, I'm positive.
As we waited for the results to show, Khutso asked me how I would feel if I tested positive. I answered... nervous and shocked. If it's negative? A sense of relief... even though I know I've been careful and have protected myself... and not that surprised.
I know my status, do you know yours?
From left: Khutso, Mpho, Knysna, and Tiny of Humana.
I was VERY impressed with the level of professionalism that all these women displayed. They've been through extensive trainings and workshops and seem very good at their jobs. We talked about the importance of testing and how hard their jobs sometimes are. They're there when couples come to get tested together, they're there when people find out for the first time that they're positive, and they all realize the importance of what they're doing. It's a constant battle. HIV tests are free, fast, and are the first step to helping people who are sick be aware of what they need to do in order to stay alive. The challenge is educating everyone, reducing the stigma attached to being HIV positive, and encouraging people to know their status.

Papalaas

WARNING:There are some pictures that are pretty... something.. in this post... I'm not trying to gross anyone out.. it is what it is... and it's part of the culture here.

Papalaas. When you say this word around here, people know what you're talking about. It means to feel hung over... or to have a Blue Monday... or to just feel out of sorts and blah.
I got maybe two hours of sleep last night. When I turned off my light, the night was still and hot, I couldn't get cool, and it felt like the temperature kept rising. I had a hard time drifting off. When I finally did get to sleep I was awakened by a HUGE thunderstorm that lasted from 1am until, at the very least, 3. The rain was so loud on my roof that I could only sleep for little spurts before my eyes were forced open by loud rolls of thunder. It was welcomed though. When the wind started to blow and the storm rolled in it felt like a fever had been broken, all the sweat I was sleeping in was cooled. I finally forced myself out of bed at 7:45. No electricity. No electricity means no tea. No oatmeal. I skipped the caffeine and had cold cereal instead. The yard sounded like it was full of people. I opened my door and was immediately thrown into what was to become a very surreal day.'
When I glanced to my left I saw two big tubs of water that had been filled by all the rain (ISN'T THAT INSANE? THAT'S A LOT OF WATER!)

and then when I glanced to my right, right next to a man I didn't know who was smoking a cigarette and trying to greet me and introduce himself, I saw this:

and this:

One of MmaDiapo's calves broke its leg yesterday and it had to be put down... she was very upset by the whole thing and ended up selling off the meat.
Synett mentioned feeling tired and bored this morning when I walked into the office. It was 8:30am. At 10, for tea time, we had bananas and, yes, Fanta grape, I didn't get my normal sugar rush. I was sent on a mission to visit a creche and decided to walk part of the way there so I could check my mail. Victor at the post office wasn't feeling well and said he just wanted to go back to bed. When I finally made it down to the creche, on the opposite end of the village from my office, Mma Modiba said she had woken up feeling uninterested and tired. And when I walked back through the parking lot of Taposa Bakery to get to my office, I saw this:

Two cows, in the middle of a parking lot surrounded by a restaurant, a bakery, a physiotherapist, a saloon (aka salon), and a petrol station, had found themselves a mudhole to cool off in. Papalaas.

In That Hill Country

Now that I've given them enough time to spill the beans to plenty of people, I can make a public announcement on here. My sister, Bronnie (Bronwyn), and her boyfriend, Ed are agettin' hitched! Welcome to the Owen Family, Ed! Love you guys.

And on this day...

'I have fought against white domination and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs
be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.'- Nelson Mandela

11 Febraury 1990 Nelson Mandela was released from Victor Verster Prison in Paarl, Western Cape after being incarcerated for 27 years. On that same day, from Cape Town, he delivered a speech to the people of South Africa and to the world. The quote above is the conclusion of that speech where he quotes "his own words" from his trial in 1964. For a transcript of the whole speech you can go to:
http://www.anc.org.za/ancdocs/history/mandela/1990/release.htmlhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

Shantaram

"I clenched my teeth against the stars. I closed my eyes. I surrendered to sleep. One of the reasons why we crave love and seek it so desperately, is that love is the only cure for loneliness., and shame, and sorrow. But some feelings sink so deep into the heart that only loneliness can help you find them again. Some truths about yourself are so painful that only shame can help you live with them. And some things are just so sad that only your soul can do the crying for you."
-Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts, pg 124
Work-wise it's been a rough couple of days. I still find myself fumbling and trying to grasp at what exactly I can do differently that will make it easier, not so challenging, to work with my office (maybe, at some point, I'll elaborate on this). I struggled today. I was exhausted because I cried until I was all cried out and I only got a couple hours of actual sleep last night. I didn't want to fight with my office and I didn't want to give in. So I spent a few hours by myself writing and reading and sitting on some bricks outside the chicken coop watching them all run around. It was good. Calming. And then tonight I walked out to the water barrels under a big bright moon and stood listening to the insects chirp and hum, the sky so bright I could see the mountains. I took a couple deep breaths and it helped.

The Cholera is in the Limpopo

When you're in the village, you're really in the village. It's the truth. If I didn't buy a data bundle through my SIM card for my internet phone every month... I would be cut off from all the happenin's in the world. I don't have a TV. The newspaper that's sold everyday in the Taposa Bakery parking lot is South Africa's equivalent of The National Inquirer or News of the Weird.
The whole time I've been here I've heard bits and pieces of news about Zimbabwe thrown around the village. People refer to Mugabe. Some people are angry with all the people who have crossed the border seeking basic necessities. Some people feel that all the refugees are taking away jobs and services meant for South Africans. Some people shake their heads in sympathy, empathy, shame, at what's happening in the country just north of us that has collapsed and deflated. Back in early December I got an SMS (text) from Abby. "The Limpopo has The Cholera, Be Careful!". That was the first sign that I knew something was a little off up in these parts. Yes, it's true. The Limpopo River, the natural border between Zim and South Africa, has tested positive for Cholera. Thousands of people are sick. Several thousand have died... and the epidemic has crossed country borders... spreading into Botswana, South Africa, and Mozambique. Although I have yet to hear of any people within my community being sick... I have heard that some water supplies very near here have tested positive (this is all hearsay). I'm going to the local hospital this week to see what I can find out. My family is fine, our drinking water is rainwater from the tank, and I'm boiling and filtering.
For now, I'm going to post some links to a few articles I found on the World Health Organization (WHO) website and the one for Doctors Without Borders/ Medecins Sans Frontieres.

"Cholera is an acute intestinal infection caused by ingestion of food or water contaminated with the bacterium Vibrio cholerae. It has a short incubation period and produces an enterotoxin that causes a copious, painless, watery diarrhoea that can quickly lead to severe dehydration and death if treatment is not promptly given. Vomiting also occurs in most patients.

Most persons infected with V. cholerae do not become ill, although the bacterium is present in their faeces for 7-14 days. When illness does occur, about 80-90% of episodes are of mild or moderate severity and are difficult to distinguish clinically from other types of acute diarrhoea. Less than 20% of ill persons develop typical cholera with signs of moderate or severe dehydration.

Cholera remains a global threat and is one of the key indicators of social development. While the disease no longer poses a threat to countries with minimum standards of hygiene, it remains a challenge to countries where access to safe drinking water and adequate sanitation cannot be guaranteed. Almost every developing country faces cholera outbreaks or the threat of a cholera epidemic."- http://www.who.int/topics/cholera/en/

A 02 December article from the WHO website:
http://www.who.int/csr/don/2008_12_02/en/index.html

A 30 January 2009 article from the WHO website that covers what is needed to control the Cholera outbreak in Zim:
http://www.who.int/mediacentre/news/releases/2009/cholera_zim_20090130/en/index.html

A 30 January 2009 article from the MSF website, includes latest numbers and challenges:
http://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/news/article.cfm?id=3383&cat=field-news&ref=home-center

A 03 February 2009, personal account from a MSF employee:
http://www.msf.org/msfinternational/invoke.cfm?component=article&objectid=3747FDEF-15C5-F00A-2574AB953724495B&method=full_html

It starts with a scarf

A couple of weeks ago Phenyo came by and we had a knitting/crocheting circle... well, with two people. I was finishing up the scarf I had started as my first knitting project (it turned out nicely!) and she was practicing the half-double crochet stitches I taught her a couple of days before. Every couple days after that she would come by to show me her progress. Last night, before going to a church event she came by to show me her finished product. It's awesome! Her aunt is currently working on making her a hat to match.

This is the glittery seahorse shaped card she made to thank me for teaching her how to crochet.

And this is Phenyo posing with her new, handmade scarf.

And this is a picture of the two of us in the front yard, right by MmaDiapo's flowers.

Mabu, I'd like to give a shout out to you

I'm not even sure where to start with Mabu. I'll mention that he's worked for MmaDiapo, tending to her cattle, for 8 years. That I hear his key click in the lock of his room between 6:30 and 6:45 every morning. That we share a wall... he uses the room next door for keeping his bike and clothes while he's away with the cows. That he rides his bike to and from Ticky Line everyday... a good 45 minute ride. That he's always there to greet me with a smile. That we don't speak the same language, but manage to talk all the same. That he proudly wears his Texas Longhorns' cap home every night after a long day of work. That he has done so much for my family, working every day of the week, and is very much considered part of the family. That MmaDiapo asks him to stay in his room so he can watch out for me when she's gone more than a night. That he has 5 children. That he has a calm and even voice. That he's one of the kindest men I've met in South Africa.


This is Mabu in the front yard. Today he was building a new kraal/temporary home for the cows to stay in while they clean out the current one. He posed so Phenyo, my neighbor, could take a picture.



This is what I see every morning on my way to work. Mabu, Charlie, and Karabo all working together on something in the yard.


Tonight Lethabo, Karabo, and I watched the cows try to adjust to their temporary home. It wasn't going so well. The new kraal was too small and the new fencing not sturdy enough to withstand all the running and bucking and fighting they seemed to be doing. After we watched for a good 15 minutes or so, all the adults (Mabu, MmaDiapo, Maria, MmaKori, and Maite...minus Mmapula) whistled and yelled and whooped and got them back into the old kraal where they seemed to be more comfortable, even if they were up to their knees in muck.

Pop This Lock

I went to a funeral prayer this afternoon. Right after I met the cutest kid ever with a smile full of pearly whites and before I thought I would be lulled to sleep by all the singing.... I had this exchange:
Woman: Did you hear what your kind people have done for us here in South Africa?
Mmapula: My kind people? No, no, what did they do?
Woman: Well, I heard they unlocked the rain.
Mmapula: Who unlocked the rain?
Woman: America. America unlocked the rain. They have control and they get to choose which country gets access to the rain. We were chosen.
Mmapula: Where did you hear that?
Woman: The radio. Do you believe it?
Mmapula: I would be lying if I told you I did. (This is how my coworkers phrase such things). America may be a powerful country, but it doesn't control the weather and who will get the rain or when it will come.
Woman: Eish! No? I thought for sure they were right. I still think they are right.
Mmapula: Well, I lived there for a good part of my life and I've never heard of such a thing. There are many places in America that suffer from too much rain or many years of drought. I wonder where the radio got such information.
Woman: They unlocked the rain! Because they unlocked the rain, people are able to eat. There are plenty of mealies... and there is water that can be saved and will last a long time.