Shantaram

"I clenched my teeth against the stars. I closed my eyes. I surrendered to sleep. One of the reasons why we crave love and seek it so desperately, is that love is the only cure for loneliness., and shame, and sorrow. But some feelings sink so deep into the heart that only loneliness can help you find them again. Some truths about yourself are so painful that only shame can help you live with them. And some things are just so sad that only your soul can do the crying for you."
-Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts, pg 124
Work-wise it's been a rough couple of days. I still find myself fumbling and trying to grasp at what exactly I can do differently that will make it easier, not so challenging, to work with my office (maybe, at some point, I'll elaborate on this). I struggled today. I was exhausted because I cried until I was all cried out and I only got a couple hours of actual sleep last night. I didn't want to fight with my office and I didn't want to give in. So I spent a few hours by myself writing and reading and sitting on some bricks outside the chicken coop watching them all run around. It was good. Calming. And then tonight I walked out to the water barrels under a big bright moon and stood listening to the insects chirp and hum, the sky so bright I could see the mountains. I took a couple deep breaths and it helped.