In class we learned how our ancestors turned on lights, they didn't use matches Mmapula!

MmaDiapo sifting rubbish out of freshly ground mealie meal.

After being on a taxi all day, struggling with all my bags at ShopRite when I stopped to get some groceries (um, of course the lady at the parcel check remembered me, who shows up with a big backpack and another bag to check? A Peace Corps Volunteer), and taking one of the last seats on the taxi to Metz, I had a big grin on my face when I opened the gate to my house. MmaDiapo was catching me up on all the news, funerals, travels, and how her farm was doing. Maite, Lethabo, and Karabo all ran over to welcome me back. Phenyo waved at me from the road and promised to stop by the next day.
When I was on the way to the post office, I heard feet running up behind me, and a few seconds later a little girl named Mokgadi slowed up beside me. We exchanged greetings, she asked my name, I asked hers, she asked where I was going, she walked me to the corner where she turned off. She turned off and two boys pushing a homemade wire car pulled up beside me, That car is beautiful! Did you make it? Yes? Wow! You have such talent! And they smiled big grins and offered it up to me.
The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind, so many changes, so much information, so many goodbyes, some good bonding time.... lots of good. I went to Pretoria for a few days for some orthodontist appointments and a Volunteer Support Network (VSN) meeting. SA-16 Peace Corps South Africa CHOP/SCRP (NGO and EDU) groups spent a few days at our Close of Service (COS) Conference. I said goodbye to a few of my dear friends out of our NGO group (does that ever get easier?!). I got to visit Ga-Seleka, village home to Thato and Boipelo Seleka (aka Paul and Jess). Then to finish off the whole trip, I spent a few more days in Pretoria... back to the orthodontist, a meeting with good ol Melissa-PCMO (medical officer), and some movie watching.
It's good to be back. I feel more on my feet... it's nice to have my stuff around me, clean clothes (and "easy" access.. hahahaha... if buckets count..to clothes washing), I can blog again, I have a ton of books to read, I don't have to take taxis anywhere for a while!!!!, I need to start on all the stuff that needs to be finished by September, and after a couple of weeks of so many things being thrown at us about leaving, transitions, goodbyes, reports, service descriptions, friendships, rules, options, choices, and plans... the village feels normal... I feel more at ease. I'm soaking it all in, taking still shots of village happenin's with my memory. Is this because the end is near? Everything becomes rosy at the beginnings and ends of change? Because the end is near, I'm finally letting go a little more, focusing on things I want to remember?
A few nights ago, I think it was the last night I was in Pretoria (I had a dorm room all to myself and was really enjoying all the Twilight books), I had this very vivid dream that's stuck with me. I was sitting at the end of a very long table full of familiar faces. Conversation was flowing, people were chattering, there was lots of arm flailing and laughing. The whole dream I was sitting and watching, big smile on my face, taking in all that was going on around me. I was quiet, don't think I said a word, but was perfectly content watching all the action. For the last couple days I've gone back to that dream more than a few times. It shows two things I've been trying to put into words (for myself) for a few months now.... still not sure I can describe them well enough... but I have time to work on them, tweak their descriptions. Two important things all the same though. 1)I am very much looking forward to sitting and just talking, watching, and laughing with people I've sorely missed over the last couple of years.... and in the same breath I can say that it's going to be very hard to leave behind people I've gotten to know and love here. 2)There is no way I can put all of this into words... no accurate description. I used to think that I could explain it and if people didn't get it... THEY weren't trying hard enough, but now I KNOW it's that I'll never, ever be able to put the magnitude of all my experiences, heartache, loves, laughs, frustrations, and things that make me shake my head, into words. There's no way. Too many details make up each day, make up the adventure, make up life in general...In January I starting posting more pictures on my blog. Part of the reasoning for that was that I was tired of focusing on all the emotional parts of this and it was going to be easier on me if I just tried to focus on other aspects of my service. (and with a few entries, I just wanted to tell myself to stuff a sock in it). And then part of it was that I felt I was losing a grip on words. My English isn't that great... I've been a little out of practice... and my Sotho is less than desirable... but I mean descriptive words. How do I talk about Mokgadi? How I smiled to myself and welcomed her company on my walk? How do I put into words the immense gratitude I feel towards MmaDiapo? Rejoice? Maite? Phenyo? John and Mary? SA-16? Maite? Ledile? Thato? Mama Mable? Or how I'm pretty sad that 3 of my good friends from this experience left to go back to 'Merica a week ago? Or how tight I've become with the people who work at the Metz post office because they're not from around here either? Or how striking it was to see the movie Milk (really moving and I highly recommend a viewing) and then walk through the streets of Pretoria... greeting people who would avert their eyes when they passed me, greeting people who seemed shocked that I would acknowledge their presence, passing wall after wall after fence after big gate after extra security measures of razor wire and codes while I'm looking over my shoulder and slightly paranoid? Pictures help me remember all the little details I don't want to lose... all those words I can't come up with... and they help give a little glimpse into all of this... this being South Africa... Metz... the Phokungwanes... Kodumela ADP.... taxis.... cities/towns...travels... me... geez, and so much more.