18 July 2007

I've been meaning to start this blog for months... I wanted to chronicle all the little things that were leading up to me actually leaving Austin and starting my job with the Peace Corps. That, obviously, didn't happen. Yesterday I left my home, my room, my parents, my good friends, access to family, convenience, good ol queso, chips, salsa, my bed, some good books, and too many other things to list. Tonight I'm in Philly, I'm going to sleep on a pillowtop mattress in my room that I'm sharing with my roommate from Denver. I'm exhausted. The last few days have been such a whirlwind. I can't believe Sunday night (and early Monday morning) I was dancing to the 80's and smiling at some of my good, good friends... and tonight, tonight I'm sitting in the lobby of the Sheraton typing on my Mac, sitting next to my first friend connected to the Peace Corps. I'll admit yesterday was pretty rough. Emotionally I was all over the place... excited, nervous, exhausted, drained, anxious, and, in some ways, full of doubt... wondering what I had gotten myself into. Leaving my family and good friends at the airport was not nearly as tearful and awful as I thought it was going to be. It was surreal. I'm sort of wondering when it's going to hit me. Logically I know the magnitude of such a move..I'm committing to 2 years of service... but emotionally? My heart feels like it's on a vacation.
Things are good, though. Today at orientation I was finally able to meet some people who knew, personally, what it was like to go through the Peace Corps application process, the medical clearance, the frustration, anxiety, and stress going into something so big, yet so vague.
*In the cab on the way to my hotel, my cab driver looked in his rearview mirror and asked why I looked so scared. It really surprised me because it reiterated just how much my face showed how upset and overwhelmed I was.